Baby News

Stepfathers make better parents than biological dads?

Sandy Maple — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:00:00 +0000

Filed under: Newborns, Babies, Toddlers, Preschoolers, Kids 5-7, Kids 8-11, Teens & tweens, Just for dads, In the news

In some families, the original isn't always the best when it comes to fathers. For 'fragile families', described as low-income urban families prone to non marital births, mothers say that stepfathers are often more engaged, cooperative and willing to share responsibilities than married biological fathers.

A new study finds that while married biological fathers and stepfathers may be almost equally engaged with the children themselves, it is their interaction with mom that often makes stepfathers better parents. The mothers surveyed reported that stepfathers shared their parental views and were more open to talking about their parental wants than natural fathers. Rebekah Levine Coley, a developmental psychologist at Boston College, says this is probably because stepfathers "have to work harder to fit in and to have a useful productive role."

Coley says the findings contradict the popular view among social workers and experts that dads are more invested if the child is of their own flesh and blood. "I think this research does, to some extent, call some of those assumptions into question," she said.

The conclusions were made after interviewing 2,098 urban mothers from the The Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing study and will be published in the Journal of Marriage and Family.

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Classroom Connection: Is homework necessary?

Christina Sbarro — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 14:00:00 +0000

Filed under: Kids 5-7, Kids 8-11, Education

As kids head back to school with new backpacks and sneakers and grins missing teeth, you're breathing a sigh of relief. Right? Isn't that what you're doing?

Well, maybe not if your child is going to school for the first time (if that's the case, deep breath, everything will be FINE....) But for kids heading back to school for the second year, or the fifth for that matter, you know your child is re-entering the realm of structured routines, after school activities, and yes, homework.

Is it a good thing? The homework, I mean. Some parents say it's the best thing ever--and they hound me from day one for more homework, more homework. Others say the opposite, and wonder why I ever send any homework home at all.

In my opinion homework in the elementary grades serves only one purpose: to get young students into routine of doing homework in preparation for the later grades. Other than that, I think it interferes with the meaningful and enriching activities children should be doing after school and at home with their families. Call me a renegade, but there is quite a bit of research out there to support my view.

Don't get me wrong-I'm not saying children should go home and play video games all afternoon. I think every child should spend time with books every single day--reading independently and being read. I also think that parents should involve their children in other meaningful academic activities that are incorporated into daily life--like playing math games, or doing research on a topic that the child is interested in.

But homework for homework's sake when your kid is 6 years old? I'm not convinced.

I'm curious. Do you think homework in the early grades is important and necessary--or is it overrated, and perhaps taking precious time away from other activities children could be doing?

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A Little More: What not to say

Jennifer Graf Groneberg — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 13:00:00 +0000

Filed under: Just for moms, Just for dads, Special needs

Nearly 5 years ago, I found myself at a wedding in a city far from my home, away from my 3-month-old twins who'd been born prematurely, and had recently been released from the NICU.

The fact that I would leave my family at such a time to travel to this wedding says a lot about the couple being married that day: I'd known the bride since girlhood and felt as close to her as if she were a sister.

Being mom to 3 children was still new to me, then; people would ask if I had kids and I'd answer, "Yes, a 4-year-old," and then hastily add, "And twins! The babies are 3 months."

Only sometimes did I say that my son Avery had Down syndrome. I didn't have the words figured out, yet. I didn't know how to manage my reactions as well as the reactions of others. Even the terms were problematic: sometimes I'd say "Down syndrome," sometimes I preferred "Trisomy 21," which sounded (to me) more scientific and was less likely to elicit stereotypes.

Too, I sometimes said too much. I'd go into great detail about all of it--my water breaking at dawn (what a lovely image!) and the premature delivery and Avery's diagnosis, on and on, until I was exhausted and so was my poor conversation partner, whom I'm sure was regretting the one simple question that unlocked Pandora's box.

Continue reading A Little More: What not to say

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