Filed under: Kids 5-7, Kids 8-11, Development

My husband's aunt passed away recently, after a long illness. She had lived across the street from us when both of our children were born, and used to send dinner every so often. Her husband would bring the boys Hot Wheels cars and various other toys; they gave my older son his first bicycle. The boys don't really remember any of that, but we did, and we were saddened by her death.

But we were also unsure about the funeral etiquette. My sons are six and eight -- were they old enough to go to the funeral? I didn't know, and so I started asking around. To my surprise, the overwhelming response from my mama friends was no, don't take them, they're too young, they won't be able to sit still, they won't understand what's going on. I still wavered -- they go church at school each week, so the funeral Mass would be familiar to them, and they seem to understand what it means to say that someone has died. And there would be other kids there, most about their ages.

In the end, my husband went to the funeral alone, and I stayed home with our kids and some other cousins because we were unable to find a sitter for the out of town children and this was just easier for everyone. But we have other elderly relatives who are not in good health, and because I am sure this will be an issue again, perhaps soon, I'm still curious about the etiquette here -- should kids go to funerals, or stay home?

What's your rule on funerals and children? How old is old enough? Or do other factors, like your child's relationship to the deceased, matter more?

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Filed under: Babies, Pregnancy & birth, Bump watch, Life & style, Celeb parenting, Rumors, That's entertainment

Let's set the record straight. Apparently there were some rumors out there that Victoria Beckham was keen on having additional children. Well, according to Posh Spice herself she doesn't want any more kids. While there was a time Victoria would've been interested in a fourth child, she says right now is not the time to be adding to her brood.

In fact, says Beckham, her life is too filled to have time for another child. She and soccer superstar David Beckham have three children between them, all sons. And Beckham notes that, like any other mom, she finds herself running each of them back and forth from all their activities. Her husband has a busy schedule with his soccer career, and she's pretty busy doing whatever it is she does.

Beckham was quick to point out that she has no problem with celebrities who do have larger families. She supports parents like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt who adopt, noting she "respects" them but that it's not something she's considered.

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Filed under: Love & sex, Divorce & custody, Fun & activities, Life & style, In the news, Weird but true

A new trend is on the rise among those about to get married, and it ain't whether or not to wear a sleeveless gown. More often, those signing prenuptial agreements are including health-related clauses in their lists of musts and must nots. What used to be about money, frankly, and protection of assets, has moved to the body. For example, if a wife gets fat, her husband has the right to divorce her or perhaps leave her penniless. Let's just hope she doesn't like ice cream too much. Smoking is also finding its way into the agreements as is a due date for pregnancy (like there's much control over that one!).

Health concerns are certainly more on our minds these days as we try to swim our way out of a nation of obesity and rising healthcare costs driven by insurance companies who care more about making money for their top brass than actually helping the nation's citizens take care of themselves. Hence, it would seem natural that health concerns would be a large part of the conversation when two people decide to spend the rest of their lives together.

I suppose I could have forced my husband to be to sign a prenup stating he would remain vegetarian and raise our kids to be such, but I'm flexible and a little bit of a softy. I suppose he could have banned soft cheeses from our fridge or taken me to court. But we didn't. Maybe I could have said I wanted to have a baby by the time I was 30 or he was outta there. Know what would have happened? I'd be single and still have no kids (I am 33 and expecting number two, but didn't have number one until I was 32).

Are these people crazy to be suggesting such prenups, and worse to be agreeing to them, or are they right on the money given the way the modern world works?

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Filed under: Development, Education

A lot of people -- mostly politicians, it seems -- have praised the No Child Left Behind initiative to no end. Best thing since sliced bread, it seems. But a lot of people -- especially teachers -- have voiced plenty of criticism, If you're not quite sure why anyone would be opposed to NCLB, given its goals of making sure all students get the education they deserve, I urge you to read Susan Hobart's essay on the matter.

Hobart is an educator who -- like so many public school teachers -- teaches because it is her passion. And yet, despite being willing to go the extra mile and do the extra work necessary, she can't really teach her students. Instead, she has to make certain her students do well on the standardized tests so she spends time teaching students how to properly "bubble up," the term for filling in the circles on answer sheets.

We're not too far gone, though, Hobart says. We can return to doing it right if we're willing to let go of easy answers -- because easy answers rarely work. We need to let teachers teach according to the needs of their students, not according to the bottom line of the test makers. We also need involved parents and home environments that are not only conducive to learning, but encouraging as well.

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Filed under: Preschoolers, Kids 5-7, Kids 8-11, Fun & activities, Playground bureau, Education

Starting school can feel a little like starting a new job. There's a new environment, new materials, new tasks, a new "boss," and maybe most importantly to kids, new friends. Back-to-school can be a stressful time of year for kids, and parents know a little encouragement goes a long way.

Over at PBSParents, the Supersisters have a great idea for not only dealing with your own youngster's nervous energy, but spreading a little kindness as well. They snuck out early on the first day of school and wrote inspirational messages in sidewalk chalk for school kids to read as they headed to school. "Have a awesome day," read one. "You are fantastic," said another. Supersister Jen reports that the messages were a hit, and I have to imagine that even tweens and teens who were "too cool" to react had to be bolstered by such such positive prose.

If you think that you might want to spread a little cheer on your first day of school, head out early to get your messages written well ahead of time (and to make sure you aren't late for the first day of school!). If you don't live in a walkable neighborhood, you could also get your school's permission to put the messages on the school's sidewalks and playground instead. If you do, Supersisters want you to share your words of kindness with them through their Flickr pool.

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Filed under: Kids 8-11, Teens & tweens, Health & safety, Education

As Roger pointed out in a recent post, school should be a safe place for kids. But what happens when it isn't? Bullying is a big issue in schools, and today's technology has allowed it to reach far past the school yard. Bullies can now torment their targets by text, IM, or through the Internet. Victims of bullying are at risk for social, emotional, and academic problems in the long-term.

So what should you do if you're child is being targeted by a bully? CNN has several suggestions, some of which include:

• Tune into your child's behavior and look for signs that something is out of the ordinary. Take note, too, if they radically change their routine for no apparent reason.
• Before jumping in and calling a bully's parents, get your tween or teen to open up and talk about it, letting them have some control over the solution.
• Younger children will need parents to intervene more quickly.
• Inform school authorities immediately.
• Help your child come up with tactics that will put a stop to the bullying, but don't encourage violence or retaliation.
• Encourage social relationships through extra-curricular activities, clubs, and sports, and teach your child how to reach out to others socially.

Finally, realize that bullying isn't something that kids "grow out of." Adults who were bullied can have traumatic memories of childhood, and bullying isn't limited to children. The sooner that both victim and bully get adult guidance to resolve the situation, the better.

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Filed under: Babies, Development

So you can add this to your list of essential parenting skills: keeping a poker face. It turns out, according to a new study, that kids as young as four months can read the emotions playing across your face. Apparently, they use the same brain regions as adults when processing the gaze of another person.

The four-month-olds in the study had a face that either looked at them or looked away and then smiled and raised its eyebrows, an indication of friendship. "In four-month-old babies we demonstrate very early specialisation, and indeed, an adult-like pattern of activation of the brain regions that process face-to-face social interaction," said Dr. Tobias Grossman of the Centre for Brain and Cognitive Development, Birkbeck at the University of London.

Other studies have shown that autistic toddlers have difficulty making eye contact, so Dr. Grossman wants to focus on the importance of this skill in future research. Professor Mark Johnson, who also worked on the study, was quick to note, however, that "we are not claiming it could diagnose autism - merely that it may prove a useful early warning signal." Still, it seems to me that the more we know about these sorts of things, the better off we are.

So the moral of all this? Don't think you have an automatic upper hand when playing Texas Hold 'Em with your four-month-old. They can read you like a book.

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Filed under: Teens & tweens, Fun & activities, Media, That's entertainment

Wired Magazine is offering up a list of ten films that will help you raise your kids as geeks. First on the list is Star Wars, one of the most significant space movies in history. What geek in the seventies didn't dream of being Luke Skywalker and saving the universe from the evil Darth Vader? Of course, Star Wars is more romantic fantasy than hard science fiction.

If you want your kids grounded a little more in the science part of SF, skip down a few entries to War Games where Matthew Broderick uses his IMSAI computer to hack into a military supercomputer and very nearly starts World War III. Or, last on the list, the Back to the Future series where Michael J. Fox travels through time in a DeLorean.

There are a couple of essential (in my opinion) films that were left off the list but mentioned in the comments -- The Princess Bride and Labyrinth (sure, they're both fantasies, but they offer adventure and positive lessons that will serve any geek well.) Are there any others you'd add to the list as being essential viewing?

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Filed under: Money & work, Fun & activities, Places to go, Holidays, Life & style, That's entertainment

For pretty much everyone, Labor Day signifies the last day of summer. Never mind that most kids go back to school either the week before or after Labor Day, which many feel like is the real end of summer. Never mind that the actual end of summer is sometime in late September. To many, this year, Labor Day represents a few things quite different than a last hurrah for summertime activities. Many will hit the beaches or pools one last time before they close for the year, and many will have one last barbecue or picnic with family and friends before resigning themselves to school schedules. Many, however, will lament not being able to do much of anything because of the failing economy and soaring gas prices.

I don't really know anyone who went anywhere real for summer vacation this year. They made good use of the park and local activities, and they spent some quality time with said family and friends (which is great) but most are really looking toward the normalcy of the regular old school year, when they don't have to disappoint their kids by saying they're not going anywhere.

Or, are they? Now is the time to get out of town if you're going to do so. Many airlines are having specials. Gas has finally lowered a tad (although it's still well over $3.50 a gallon in most places). The kids are more stir crazy than ever, especially knowing school is right around the corner. Maybe now is the time to pop into the minivan and hit the road--wherever it may take you. Hey, maybe you don't even know where you'll end up (that's always a scary thought when traveling with kids). If you do hit the road this Labor Day, just keep in mind that everyone else may have the same idea. Some people are traveling anyway, regardless of cost or inconvenience. Some of them saved a lot of money by not traveling the rest of the summer. But all of them chose not to pass up this last chance to do something this summer.

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Filed under: Teens & tweens, Education

It's tradition in many high schools for athletes and cheerleaders to wear their jerseys or uniforms on the Friday before a game. But a Monroe, Ohio high school is taking issue with the cheerleaders' short skirts. Since the school dress code says skirts must fall no higher than three inches above the knee, cheerleaders are no longer allowed to wear the skirt portion of their uniform to school.

Not everyone agrees with the rule. "My daughter is in her senior year," says mom Becky Daniel. "We paid for uniforms and they should be able to wear them on game day." But Superintendent Elizabeth Lolli is clear: "The skirts that cheerleaders wear are very short, and they're very tight and they're slit so they can do the gymnastics that are required of a cheerleader."

Are short cheerleading skirts even necessary? (Don't answer that, guys.) They seem like a relic from an era gone by. If cheerleading is a serious sport, why not put them into some serious, modern workout gear? Then again, I was never a cheerleader. But it seems like a compromised could be reached in Monroe by letting the girls wear their uniforms, skirts and all, with warm-ups underneath. What do you think?

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