Filed under: Lifestyle, Family togetherness, Adventures in Parenting

It began 8 (nearly 9) years ago with the birth of my first son Carter. The next 3 years were about chasing sleep, and particularly a period of rest long enough in which to dream--that old, pre-parenting slumber, soft and comforting as a dear friend.

The 4th year was my fault; I was pregnant with twins, and this time, it was me keeping me up, with multiple trips to the bathroom and flopping about trying to find that elusive, comfortable position. Years 5, 6 and 7 belonged to the twins: if they weren't both up, at least one of them was--sometimes, it was all 3 children up at once.

If we lived in Australia, I might watch fireworks from the banks of Sydney Harbour. If we lived in Germany, I might sing "Auld Lang Syne" in Deutsch. If we were in Paris, I'd celebrate le Réveillon de la Saint-Sylvestre. Since we are in the US, I could watch the glittering, crystal ball drop in Times Square.

But really? This year? Sleep sounds so lovely. The thought that both my husband Tom and I might welcome in a new year with a good night's sleep seems almost too good to be true. In fact, just by writing about it, I've probably somehow jinxed it.

Just in case we decide to forgo the early bedtime, how do you celebrate New Year's Eve?

(And in case I miss it, I'll say it here: Happy New Year!)

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Filed under: Pregnancy and Birth, Third trimester

A couple weeks ago, I was thinking how I haven't noticed this baby hiccuping as much as Riley did when he was still in utero-and suddenly it was as though the hiccups became my belly companion's full-time fetal occupation. Several times a day, I feel as though I've swallowed a large ticking alarm clock: hic! Hic! Hic!

I mentioned to my husband how I thought I'd avoided the dreaded late-term heartburn, oh lucky me, and that very evening I woke up with what felt like battery acid crawling up the back of my throat. Every single night since then, I have to repeatedly get up and eat Tums, prop more pillows behind my head, and generally curse the gods of reflux.

I figured since my last pregnancy ended in late summer, I'd have a better chance of not swelling up like Violet Beauregarde this time around, but then I noticed it was taking me half an hour to yank my wedding rings off each night.

The skin tags, the congestion, the crushed-lung sensations, the *ahem* digestive issues . . . why, it seems the only major difference between this home-stretch section of pregnancy and my last one is my general outlook on life. "Jeez," my husband said to me recently. "You sure are more complainy this time."

Then, of course, I dipped him in salt, rolled him in chocolate, and devoured him whole. Because the food cravings are the same, too.

How about you, were the last parts of your pregnancies similar, or totally different?

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Filed under: Pregnant celebrities, Celebrity babies, Celebrity style, Celebrity parents

The brilliant minds at Best Week Ever made a list of the Top Ten Best Pregnancy Announcements of the past year. After looking at it, I was struck by how many were unplanned surprises. Does contraception or venereal disease not exist for celebrities?!

The list includes:

• Lily Allen
• Bridget Moynahan
• Milla Jovovich
• Christina Aguilera
• Jessica Alba
• Halle Berry
• Jennifer Lopez
• Nichole Richie
• Any paternity test results on Maury Povich
• Jamie Lynn Spears

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Filed under: Family togetherness, Books, Literacy, Emotions, Likes and dislikes

So it's still sort of hoilday-ish at our house. The tree is still up, the twinkle still lingering in our eyes and hearts. Right now it's not a stretch to be in the mood to read The Night Before Christmas (which, by the way, magically appeared undder the tree with a brand new pair of PJs on Christmas Eve.)

Yet I know there will come a time--and that time will be soon, when the mere mention of the book will make me clench my teeth. This already happens every year with holiday music for me: people play it so freaking much that by the time the holiday arrives if I have to hear one more soulful or sappy rendition of silent night I am tempted to plug my ears and run screaming from the room. Call me a grinch, but I have a limited tolorance for all things holiday-ish, and reading about Santa in February (or July, for that matter) just doesn't sound appealing.

But how do I make the requests stop? Hide the book? Pack it away with the tree ornaments? Refuse to read it? What do you do?

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Filed under: Family togetherness, Moms, Dads, Infant / First year, Child Custody, Emotions, Recovering from birth

I have a friend who has recently ended his relationship with the mother of his elementary school age son. For the sake of discussion let's just say that neither of them is entirely a catch: she's been through numerous relationships and has more baggage than Paris Hilton. He, on the other hand, has a love affair with his mountain bike that rivals any affection he's ever had towards a woman.

At their best, they were never great together. They had nothing in common, other than attraction, which was never that strong to begin with, and she's over a decade his senior. When she got pregnant--she was the one who wanted to have a baby and settle down, while he was still trying to let his inner superhero out.

But when that small baby arrived in their lives, it was like a light was switched on in his brain, and he was more devoted to that small child than he'd ever been to anything. He got a job, then started his own highly successful business. He threw himself into fatherhood, even as his relationship with his son's mother was disintegrating.

Now, several years later, after couples therapy and individual therapy and several dozen failed self-help books, they've gone their separate ways: and none too gracefully. They are in the midst of a legal battle about custody of their child, and it makes my heart ache to hear the heartache in his voice. He thinks she's a great mom. He'll even admit that now, after all the nasty and unpleasant things she has done to him (and she has.) But he wants to have joint physical custody of his son, who he loves more than anything else in the world.

Several thousand dollars into legal fees the outcome is still questionable. It seems as though many people, including his son's mother, believe that a child's place is with his mother--and that men, generally are deadbeats who are best kept at a distance. Even if he is more of a playmate than a parent, as she'd like to claim, still isn't a child best off shared parenting?

What do you think? If parents separate, where is a child best off?

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Filed under: Stores and shopping, Nursery decor, Child's room decor

When I was shopping for decor for my son's nursery, I became frustrated by all the....animation. Winnie the Pooh was ubiquitous, and though I have no problem with him and Eyore in picture books, I didn't necessarily want donkeys and honey-bears all over my son's quilt, walls, or curtains. I looked for bright, interesting designs with a shade of sophistication: comforting for baby but also tolerable for Mama. It was fairly hard work.

But it seems lately I'm running across some awesome stuff that could be used in kid's rooms. If Nolan's room hadn't just been recently redone to a big-boy room with ocean-themed handmade art, I very likely would have chosen a few of these.

I came across Tricia Aviss' work at a small, delightful little boutique near our home. Though the store is filled with all kinds of wonderful stuff, Tricia's work, displayed behind the register, immediately caught my eye for it's natural captures embellished with vibrant, surprising color. My favourites are the birds, and I can envision a nursery or small child's room decorated with a few of these. I love this one - with some silvery-blue cushions and a red nursery blanket, it could be the start to a seriously stylish nursery.

Tricia Aviss' website, provides a list of shops where her work is available. Most of them will ship.

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Filed under: Eating, Doing it myself, Infant / First year, 12-18 months, 18-24 months, Baby furniture, High chairs

It's a bummer that with so many baby items, once you find something you really, like the kid outgrows.

That won't be the case with the Droog highchair, though. The wooden chair starts out with very high legs to up the baby up at parent's eye level, but once Drooley McPoopalot starts to sprout, the legs can be shortened using the handy markings and little saw provided for that very purpose.

It's all very environmental and waste-less, until you have the dilemma of what to do for baby number 2.........

Via Cookie.com. Thanks, Rachel!

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Filed under: Feeding & Nutrition, Health and Safety, 3 years, Preschooler

I've known kids who were allergic to dairy products. I've known kids with allergies to peanuts, eggs, and a whole host of other things. I seem to be allergic to alcohol. But what if you were allergic to everything? What if the only things you could eat were rice, pears, and a special hypoallergenic formula? That would certainly make life challenging. Still, as long as you got the nutrition you needed and were otherwise healthy, you could deal with it, right?

But what if you couldn't get the special formula you needed? What if your doctor prescribed it and your insurance company wouldn't pay for it? That's the case for three-year-old Hannah Devane. She's allergic to everything. Unfortunately, the formula she needs to stay alive costs $1,200 a month and her insurance company has decided it is a "food supplement" rather than a food replacement.

Hannah has a condition called eosinophilic esophagitis in which a type of white blood cell congregates in the esophagus, damaging the tissue when she eats. "Our daughter has a disorder where she needs the formula to live," said Jessie Devane, Hannah's mom. "There is tissue damage if it is not treated. The treatment is no food. The insurance company won't even listen to Hannah's doctor."

I understand that insurance companies are businesses and that insurance fraud is a huge problem, but sometimes, it sure seems like the insurance companies are loathe to pay anything. In a perfect world, socialized medecine would be the way to go, but in our imperfect world, government run health care would be imperfect also, but one has to wonder if it might not still be a better choice than what we've got.

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Filed under: Health and Safety, Pregnancy and Birth, High-risk pregnancy

The state of New Jersey has moved to make HIV testing mandatory for all pregnant women, both at the start of the pregnancy and again during the third trimester. If a woman declines -- it is allowed -- then her baby will be tested. The child will also be tested if the mother tested positive for HIV.

The idea is to reduce the incidence of mother-to-infant transmission of the virus. With early detection, antiretroviral therapy can reduce the risk of transmission to less than 2 percent. State senate president and acting governor, Richard J. Codey, signed the bill at a hospital last Wednesday. "We can significantly reduce the number of infections to newborns and help break down the stigma associated with the disease," he said. "For newborns, early detection can be the ultimate lifesaving measure."

Of course, the plan is not without its opponents. Both the state chapters of the ACLU and the National Organization of Women have questioned the law improperly violates a woman's right to privacy. In addition, Riki E. Jacobs, executive director of a New Jersey non-profit that helps people living with AIDS, has come out against the law, noting that "New Jersey already reduced the perinatal rate of transmission with mandatory counseling of pregnant women. The issue is getting those women who are not in prenatal care in for services and testing."

I'm not sure which side is right. On the one hand, you would think that women would want to do everything they could to ensure the good health of their children, but on the other, I'm not sure it's the government's place to force women to undergo such testing. What do you think? Should the government require women to be tested or should that be a personal choice?

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Filed under: Moms, Adventures in Parenting, Emotions, Brands

My friend Lisa* was over at my house the other night. We sat on bar stools at the kitchen counter after I put Nolan to bed and sipped white wine, talked about passions, soul food and matters of the heart.

"I don't know if I ever really want kids,"she confided in me,"And now would be the time to know, you know? I'm 33."
She stopped and I hesitated, drew breath, and decided to say nothing.
"It's just...I love my lifestyle, "she continued,"I love to travel and drink wine and sleep in till noon on Sundays if I want."
I nodded, sipped my wine, and ate an olive.
I wanted to tell her: But the love of your child is ten thousand times more powerful than your first trip to an unspoiled beach in Greece. If given the choice between sleeping in till 11:00 and getting up at 5:00 AM, you'll gladly stand in the silence of your baby's room, watching his chest rise and fall and marveling at the silken skin of his cheek. And on days when you have your freedom back, when you can fly to Amsterdam for the weekend or go snowboarding in Washington, instead you will think of your baby and feel half full and wonder how you were a person before him.

Instead I say,"I miss travel some days, for sure."

It's nearly impossible to describe what it is like to have a piece of your soul running on the earth beside you. Strangely, the best description of parenthood I've ever read is one that can be found on the shopping bags of my favourite brand of yoga pants:

"Children are the orgasm of life. Just like you did not know what an orgasm was before you had one, nature does not let you know how great children are until you have them."

But I spare Lisa the awkwardness of attempting to explain how children are like orgasms. But secretly I hope she has kids one day, so she knows, too.

*I change the name of almost everyone I write about here, so that they don't google themselves and writhe in horror at the unintentional publicity of our discussions. Just so you know.

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