There is a line in Charlotte's Web (which I read every year to my first graders, and just re-read again yesterday) where E.B. White stops narrating the story, and turns for a moment to the reader. "Children always hold on tighter than their parents think they will," he says, in reference to a high arcing rope swing that sails out from the Zuckerman's barn, but also in reference to the way parents tend to over-protect their kids. "Be careful," we chirp. "Watch out." We can't help ourselves.

With this in mind it is shocking to read about the way childhood was experienced by 8-year-old Fern Arable and her brother Avery, who live their days unfettered, for the most part, by adults. They go to the pond, to the barn, to the haymow, and to the county fair more or less unsupervised.. They tote frogs in their pockets, and bring air rifles to school; they are at large, outdoors, every day after school. They show up for dinner, but in between, their activities are of their own creation. And though the characters are of course, fictional, the childhood portrayed by them is not. Kids were different fifty years ago. Parents were different. Childhood was different.

Today there is an overreaching perspective that childhood is something that must be orchestrated by careful and ever vigilant parents. From soccer practice to hand sanitizer, kids are raised in an environment that is at once both entirely child-centered and adult-directed. Children of previous generations lived in a world where their lives occupied a wedge of family life parallel to adults, perhaps, or orbiting them. Today children are the axis around which most families turn. Or at leas this is what Robin Givhan would have us to believe in her recent Washington Post article.

Before I had a baby I had no idea what a minefield parenting is. I had no concept of how competitive and anxious and overbearing parents can be--each one as posturing as though they have discovered the one and only secret for for how a child is raised the best. Nor did I realize how terrifying parenting is. How much responsibility, angst, and inevitable failure.

My husband and I were pretty much on the same page about our approach to parenting when Bean arrived on the scene, and our approach could more or less be summed up by the phrase: laid back. We've leaned towards letting our kiddo figure things out by trial and error--even at the expense few scraped knees; and we tend to shy away from things like hand sanitizer and table corner covers. In our house if something lands on the floor, we have a very lenient ten-minute second rule. But we're often realize that we're swimming against the main stream amongst our friends. There is a lot pressure from the parenting powers that be (not sure who they are exactly, they're out there) to be more cautious, more concerned, more vigilant.

Is it possible that as a culture we've swung too far towards the protective, preventative, sanitized, monitored version of childhood.? Do you think that as a generation of parents we're bubble wrapping our kids?

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Filed under: Toys, 3 years, 4 years, Preschooler, Whining and Dining

It's an age-old dilemma - trying to make dinner and entertaining your little one at the same time. Sure you could pop in a Baby Einstein DVD, but why not let them help out?

This colorful veggie set is perfect for your future Top Chef. The bright vegetables are made from eco-friendly, plantation-grown wood with Velcro in between to help simulate "slicing". A blunt wood "knife" is included for their faux chopping pleasure.

Currently, my son's only interest during dinner preparation is gnawing on my legs, but I can't wait to have this around as he gets older.

The set is safe for ages 3 and up and costs $12.99 at Cost Plus World Market.

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My husband and I drove past a family of four taking a walk this evening. They were walking along the sidewalk, edged on either side with trees and rolling meadows, now flecked with trees during bright orange and golden. Up ahead, a girl and her golden retriever were running. There wasn't much traffic--it was after the homeward bound evening rush.

I did a double take as we drove past. The kids looked to be about the same age. A boy and a girl. Maybe twins. Somewhere between three and four years old. Both of them were leashed: a pale blue harness around their midsection led to a cord which was clipped onto Mom and Dad's belts. The kids were running, but not lunging. The parents were not holding anything in their hands. I didn't know what to make of it.

There are times when I have heard a parent with a particularly challenging child say that they have used a leash to prevent a the child from running away at say, the zoo or the airport. But to walk down a quiet suburban sidewalk with your kid leashed? Why?

When we're out, I ask my son to hold my hand. This is a non-negotiable when we're by cars (in parking lots, crossing the street, etc.) but when we're walking on a sidewalk or at a park, etc. if he wants to walk by himself we make an agreement. He walks next to me, or a few steps ahead. If he runs off and doesn't stop when I ask him to, then he has to hold my hand again. Or be carried. Or go to the car/go home. End of story. There is of course the occasional time where he goes boneless when I say he has to hold my hand, and we make a lovely spectacle for a few minutes. But t in general I trust him and he knows I trust him.

I know the issue has been debated before, and I understand that there are unique and extreme circumstances where a child's condition makes a harness a safety necessity...but having your kids leashed while on a family walk? To me that is sending the children a clear message of mistrust: "We don't think you'll listen to us, so we're not giving you the choice." Children live up to our expectations.

What do you think? Would you, or do you, use a leash with your child on casual family outings?

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Filed under: Teachers, Elementary school, Middle school, High school, Going to school, Celebrity parents, Making a Difference

Angelina Jolie may take a lot of heat for stealing a husband and spending tons of cash on her daughter's handbag, but you cannot deny that she is making a positive difference in the lives of children all over the world. At the Clinton Global Initiative 2007 Annual Meeting Jolie announced a commitment by the The Education Partnership for Children of Conflict to educate more than 1 million children around the world whose lives have been damaged by conflict.

Jolie is a co-founder of the Partnership, along with Gene Sperling, of the Center for Universal Education on the Council on Foreign Relations. This commitment from 19 organizations and individuals in 15 countries represents a total of $148 million dollars to be spent improving educational opportunities for these children.

Through the partnership's commitment, 350,000 children in conflict-affected regions will have the opportunity to attend school. Another 690,000 children will benefit from improved learning environments, safety, materials and teacher quality. 200,000 Iraqi refugee children will be assisted and more than 300,000 children affected by the Darfur genocide will be aided.

Wow. I am way impressed with what this woman is doing with her life. Her compassion and willingness to give of herself is to be admired. And old Slick Willie isn't doing too bad himself.

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Filed under: Gear, Newborn, Infant / First year, Baby furniture, Cribs and cradles, Nursery decor

Here's another nifty combo from our peeps at Luxist -- a combination rocking chair and cradle. When Rachel was pregnant with Jared, she really wanted a traditional, wooden rocking chair. We ended up with a really nice, modern, leather glider instead, but there is definitely something to be said for the timeless class of a traditional wooden rocker.

I'm not sure just how traditional this rocker is, but it sure seems like a neat idea. It's a wooden rocking chair with an attached cradle. I can imagine it would be really nice to sit and rock with your baby cradled next to you as you read, knitted, or, heck, even played video games. I would totally order one of these except that we have neither a baby nor the $10k it costs.

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Filed under: Pre-teen, Teenager, Games

Yeah, that's right--you read that correctly. I just bought Halloween Yahtzee for about $20 at my local Barnes and Noble. And I'm not afraid to admit it. I love Yahtzee and I love Halloween even more, so essentially this game is a match made in heaven.

I've always loved Halloween and anything Halloween-related, ever since I was a little kid. Unlike most people, I never grew out of that phase. As far as anyone knows I'm still masquerading around as a sane, competent person.

My father's birthday is on Halloween, so he was always into the holiday more than your usual person. My high school best friend's birthday was also on Halloween, as was her boyfriend's (now ex-) and his dog (now probably deceased). As you can imagine, in my life, there was a lot to celebrate come that time of year.

As you can also imagine, I simply had to have this game. For one thing, the dice glow in the dark. I mean, seriously--isn't that reason enough to march out right now and go get one already?

As you continue to imagine, instead of dots denoting the numbers the glow in the dark dice feature Halloween themed items such as pumpkins, witch hats and haunted houses. Suspiciously missing from the dice are ghosts. Is there anything more Halloween-esque than a ghost I ask? No, there isn't. But I'm not going to hold that against the game. The dice feature spiders, bats and tombstones that read "RIP" as well.

You know, the more I think about it the more I don't understand why there are no ghosts featured. Very strange.

On a positive note, the Yahtzee chips are orange and purple and everything, including extra score sheets (because you can never have enough of those) comes neatly packaged in a closable travel mug for easy transportation. Say, if you went to a Halloween party and wanted to wow people with your Yahtzee prowess.

Halloween Yahtzee and regular Yahtzee are both suitable for anyone aged 8 years and up.

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Filed under: Feeding & Nutrition, Health and Safety, Lifestyle, Media, Pre-teen, Teenager, 13-14 years, Television, Making a Difference

If your kids are glued to Nickelodeon tomorrow afternoon and the television suddenly goes dark, don't panic. You didn't forget to pay your cable bill, the kid's network is actually purposefully suspending programming for three hours. As part of their fourth annual worldwide day of play, the television goes off and hopefully the kids get outside for some exercise and fresh air.

Try to keep them out there until at least 6pm EDT/PDT, when Nickelodeon will air the Let's Just Play Go Healthy Challenge, where they spotlight the exercise activities of some of the 750,000 kids who made a promise to do their part to fight childhood obesity.

Together with the Alliance for a Healthier Generation, Nickelodeon has been documenting kids' efforts to get healthy and one boy in particular has made some great strides. Through the program, 13-year-old Kenderick, a self-described "couch potato who played video games and didn't go outside much", has dropped 40 pounds and learned to swim and ride a bike.

He didn't just learn to swim and ride, he shaped up well enough to take part in a triathlon, where he swam 100 yards, biked four miles and ran another mile. I am not sure I am up for that myself.

Kenderick hopes his accomplishments will inspire other kids, but he's not done yet. "I still want to lose weight but I want to work on my muscles now," he said. "I want to get ripped now."

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Filed under: Gear, Lifestyle, Children's furniture, Child's room decor

Our friends over at Luxist found this nifty table/stool/rug combination piece. Wait, table and stool makes sense, but... rug? Yes. Push the button in the middle of this quilted rug and suddenly you have a footstool or table, a la the Transformers. I'm not quite sure how they managed to make this work, and I have to wonder if it's really sturdy enough to stand up (pun intended) to kids, but it sure looks like a neat idea.

It also seems to me that after one's kids have been walking on this for a while, I'm not sure how willing one would be to use it as a table. I'm all in favor of multi-use products, but this seems like it might not be the best choice for a combination. Plus, there are no prices listed, so I suppose if you have to ask... What do you think -- does this make sense as a way to fill two needs with one space-saving item, or is it chindogu?

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Filed under: Health and Safety, Middle school, Public school, Pre-teen, Teenager, 13-14 years, 15-19 years, Walking

When I was a kid, nobody ever thought twice about jaywalking. You checked for cars, made sure they couldn't get you, and crossed. In the middle of the block, against the light, whatever. Then I got "pulled over," if you will, over in a smaller town in the East Bay. I looked for oncoming traffic and, seeing none, crossed the street against the light. The light changed and a cop car pulled up next to me. The cop got out, stopped me, and chewed me out for crossing against the light. He said that there were two teenage girls who had watched me cross and that they really work hard with the schools to get kids not to jaywalk. So, he had to stop me. Luckily, he didn't actually give me a ticket, although, apparently, he could have.

It's a good thing I was just in the East Bay, not on the East Coast. In Teaneck, New Jersey, police have started issuing tickets to middle school students who cross the street in the middle of the block. So far, at least five students -- including one eleven-year-old -- have been cited. The students were put in the back of a patrol car and returned to school, along with the ticket and its $54 fine.

"I don't want them to receive the fines, but I also understand they need to listen in terms of being on the sidewalk," noted Thomas Jefferson Middle School principal Antoine Green. He also says his staff has repeatedly warned students about the dangers of jaywalking. A PTA meeting was held last Wednesday to try and convince the school and police to come up with another way to discourage jaywalking.

Personally, it seems to me that if you're going to enforce the laws against jaywalking, hitting people in their pocket book is probably a pretty good way to do it. I'd be willing to bet that after a few kids bring home a $54 ticket, parents are going to make sure their kids follow the rules.

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Filed under: Television, Discipline

Based on the premise that some parents just don't have a clue when it comes to disciplining their children, the show Supernanny has been very successful. Nanny Jo Frost comes into these families' homes and shakes things up. By the time she leaves, the formerly unruly children have been brought under control and parents have been taught new skills in disciplining and controlling their children - and themselves. It's an interesting watch, I think.

The show started in the UK, where it remains a hit. But Joe Frost and her methods have drawn the ire of at least one group, The National Family and Parenting Institute, who expressed concern that parents might see the naughty step as a "cure-all" when every child is different.

But more disturbing than the naughty step is the claim by But Roger Graef, a film maker and founding member of the Channel 4 board. He says that in order to make the show more compelling and to boost ratings, producers on the show are instructed to make children cry. During a TV On Trial debate at London School of Economics, he told the audience that he has had producers come to him complaining about being told to 'change the ending to conform to the script' on several reality shows, including Supernanny.

"They were told to force children to cry on Supernanny. They were told to change things on Wife Swap and so on. The outcome is different then but there has to be some truth in it. If what you are producing is entertainment and you are using real people to do it then, the truth is, there is a long tradition of illusions. That is the reality behind it," he said.

Channel 4's spokesman denies the claim, saying this sort of this has not and would not happen on Supernanny. But isn't it pretty much a given that 'reality' is manipulated on these types of shows? I hope it isn't true, but why would it be any different on Supernanny?

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