The comfort in familiarity
Filed under: Child Development, Moms, Adventures in Parenting, Emotions
I'm notoriously resistant to change. I like my orange-scented conditioner to the right of my shampoo, I derive comfort from knowing my surroundings and believing that the future holds a semblance of the past. So, the fact that in the last year and a half I had a kid, changed careers, sold my house, experienced a relationship disentegration and moved provinces...well, let's just say I thank the high holy heavens for rice pudding and excellent girlfriends. Long phone calls with trusted friends have kept me sane in this period of constant transition, but I often wonder about Nolan. He is transitioning too, he is not making the decisions but is an affected party of whatever direction I take. I worry about him, and hope he does not worry.Nolan has always been very attached to his kitty - a mangled, one-eyed mess of sticky fur and manginess - but now he refuses to go anywhere without him, even the bathtub. And now there is another partner-in-crime -- his "baba" or white blanket, the one he has had from the time he was tiny. He insists on taking his baba and kitty everywhere he goes now, and he didn't before.
And I know instinctively (because he does have my genes, after all) that his mangled kitty and shredding blanket are his "constants", his semblance of the past. He needs to have them, as tangible knowledge that some things stay the same, some things are always there. His insistent bleating: "Kitty, baba, kitty, baba" are reminders to me of my job as a Mom. I need to provide a soft, constant place for my son, and a familiar landing pad in a constantly changing, perplexing world. And I'll do that, to the very best of my ability. But some days I wish I had a baba too.Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments