Filed under: Lifestyle, Preschool, Family togetherness, Moms, Dads, Going to school, 4 years, Adventures in Parenting, Child care, Parental relationships

When my husband was unemployed for a period of time last year, he began to take over some of the parenting responsibilities that had fallen on me. He suddenly had more time to spare than I did, so it made sense that he should begin doing things like taking Ellie to school. Prior to that time, I had been dropping Ellie off on my way to work each morning. I was usually in a hurry and didn't spend much time chatting with the other parents. My husband, however, is a very gregarious man and having nothing but time, he began to form friendships with some of the parents. Bear in mind, most of the parents he met at school were women.

When one of his new friendships resulted in an invitation to a dinner party, I was quite pleased. Being new to this area, we don't have a large circle of friends and I was happy to be invited to get to know Susie's (not her real name!) parents. We both really enjoyed the party and felt we had found some new friends. This great new friendship fantasy was short lived.

A few days after the party, I decided to take take Ellie to school myself. After getting her settled in, I was about to leave when one of her teachers asked to speak to me in private. With raised eyebrows, she handed me a piece of paper and told me that "Susie's" mother had left a note for my husband. The note was addressed to him only and included her cell phone number and a suggestion that they meet for coffee soon.

I found this note-leaving highly inappropriate and my intuition told me that this woman was hitting on my husband. For his part, my husband thought the note was innocent and that I was overreacting. He really wanted to be friends with her husband and wondered why I couldn't just give her the benefit of the doubt? I turned that over in my mind awhile and decided that no, I could not be friends with a woman who would leave such a note for my husband. If it was so innocent, why didn't she just call our house?

A survey of my female friends backed me up. But to this day, my husband thinks I let a possible friendship go for no good reason. What do you think? Was this woman trying to start something with my husband?

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Filed under: Teachers, High school, Air travel

School trips are rough. Getting sick on a school trip is even worse. Harder still, is when, at 16, you're kicked off the fight home because you're having a coughing fit -- so you're left alone with a teacher in New York City with no accommodation while your bags head back to Hawaii without you.

That's what happened to Rachel Collier right before her flight to Honolulu took off. After boarding with her classmates and promptly falling asleep, the high school student woke up coughing and gasping for air. Even though a doctor on the flight said she'd be fine for the 10-hour flight, and she'd be given water by flight attendents, the Continental Airlines pilot kicked her off.

Collier finally made it back to Hawaii the following day, with one of her teachers who stayed behind to make sure she got home safely.

Of course the airline has released statements saying the pilot felt he was acting in the best interest of the other passengers, and I'm sure he thought he was -- but could this really have been the best course of action? Why would the pilot assume he had more medical knowledge than the doctor on board? It doesn't sound like the coughing fit was delaying the flight -- so why the knee-jerk reaction?

If I was her parent, I'd be pissed.

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Filed under: Feeding & Nutrition

I'm constantly looking for healthy things to feed my kids. Part of finding healthy food is the quick and easy factor. How long will it take to cook? Can the kids feed it to themselves without much mess? Does it taste good?

I've recently learned the joys of a Gardenburger. It is hard to believe, but I really like this meatless "burger!" It tastes a bit like tater tots, which are definitely kid-friendly. It is also easy to cook up and serve to a little one with-- or without-- a bun.

Instead of french fries, I like to use sweet potato fries. You can throw them in the pan when you're almost done cooking the burger (I use grapeseed oil). The entire process takes just a few minutes and it is good to know you're not loading your children down with a plate full of cholesterol.

We also recently tried meatless "chicken" nuggets recently and, I have to say, I'll most definitely be buying more of these at the store. While my kids don't get "burgers" or "nuggets" every day, I'm happy to know these are on hand when I feel like going the easy route.

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Filed under: Lifestyle, Moms, Computers, Internet, Monitoring your kids

A few weeks ago, my adult daughter Christy came over for a visit and used my computer to check her email. After she left, I realized she had left her MySpace page up on the screen. I knew she had a MySpace page, I had just never seen it. It's a private page and I am not a 'friend.' But there it was.

As I sat looking at it, I debated whether or not to have a look around. Here was an opportunity to explore a part of her life that I know very little about - her social life. Who is she talking to and what are they talking about? The urge to peer into that window that she left open on my computer was very strong.

When she was younger, she didn't keep a diary. If she had, I am not sure what I would have done. I probably would have read it. She was what you would call a 'troubled teen' and knowing her secret thoughts might have given me some insight into how I could help her through that difficult period in her life. But she's an adult now and seems to have a pretty good handle on things. My desire to read her MySpace page was nothing more than curiosity.

I closed the window. As much as I want to know what is going on in her head, she has a right to her privacy and I have no right to take advantage of her carelessness in leaving her diary open. I do wonder what other parents would have done in that situation. Would you have been tempted as I was? Would you have given in to that temptation?

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Filed under: Moms, Restaurants, Nolan, Adventures in Parenting, Emotions

My friend Shannon is back from a 5-month long whale-saving expedition on the other side of the world. She's been home for a week, and I just saw her at lunch today: tanned, sinewy arms, eyes glittering with the thrill of chasing her dream, with the raw anticipation of doing it again.

We are so much alike, my friend Shannon and I, and we've never said it but I know we have both pondered it: we'd both be living such incredibly different lives right now if she had been the one to become unexpectedly pregnant two and a half years ago, and not I. She is traveling, chasing her dream. I am tending to my toddler, forging a different kind of hope.

"So - you can't really travel anymore. And things have kind of gone to pot in your personal life. And you don't have a social life. " She picked at a tomato on her plate.
I nodded.
"And yet? You'd do it again, you'd have Nolan again and you have no regrets?"
"None. It's so hard to explain, Shannon. It's like this massive, all-consuming love that is more important than anything else I've ever wanted to do."
"And so, is that why people have babies, do you think? Because they want that love?"

I thought about it. I can't really say, because my pregnancy wasn't planned. But I do know, if I ever had another baby, it would be because of the addiction to this love that is bigger than me, this fulfillment I feel when I can meet Nolan's needs.

It did make me think, though. I wonder why people have kids. Is it just because it is something we do as a species? A primal instinct? A need to nurture? Or curiosity about the unknown and the renowned?

I hope Shannon does have a kid one day. I think she'd be a good mother, too.

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Filed under: Lifestyle, Toys, Family togetherness, 6-7 years

Ellie loves board games and so do I. We have a closet full of them and Ellie often pulls one out after dinner. We have spent many evenings racing through Candy Land, trying to get a winner before bedtime. Often, we make up our own rules in order to speed things up. Even if we have plenty of time to play, Ellie usually loses interest before the game is over.

It seems that board game makers are finally getting the message that an hour spent playing Candy Land is about 40 minutes too long. They have begun introducing new games, and shorter versions of old favorites, that take only about 20 minutes to play. For example, Hasbro's Game of Life has been re-tooled to let players determine how long the game will last before they start playing. It's called The Game of Life: Twists and Turns Edition and uses a Visa card instead of cash and keeps score with a "LifePod". They have also created "Express" versions of Monopoly, Scrabble and Sorry.

I might consider purchasing one of the faster versions at some point, but for now, our made-up rules accomplish the same thing. We call them "Ellie's Rules" and not only do they speed things up, they make it easier for her to win. I don't always let her win, but a six year old losing a game of Candy Land right before bedtime is not my idea of a good time.

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Filed under: Lifestyle, Family togetherness

I have a confession: sometimes I think it's easier to take care of my kids by myself, without any help. Sometimes, when my husband is home and helping, everything seems to take twice as long and be twice as stressful.

My husband is a great guy, and a terrific father; he never hesitates to do whatever needs to be done for the boys. In the first week we were home from the hospital after Henry was born, my husband changed every single diaper. EVERY SINGLE ONE. These days, he makes lunches and makes beds and sorts laundry; he plays pirates and Go Fish and spends endless hours drawing pictures of Batman and Superman with the kids. He has taken them camping and to the movies and out to dinner, all by himself. Every single weekend, he takes them somewhere--the library or the park or Starbucks--for an hour or so, just the three of them.

I have no complaints about my husband. But we do things differently, he and I, and sometimes, when I am tired or when we are in a hurry, it is harder to have this other person, who does things differently, helping out. When my sons were babies, they were on a fairly predictable routine of eating and napping; somehow, on the weekend, when my husband was home, the routine would go all to hell, and we would all wind up cranky. These days, I take the kids to school in the morning, and we have a routine; when my husband takes them, he doesn't know the routine, and the kids get confused and he gets frustrated and I get stressed out.

I've asked other stay-home parents, both moms AND dads, about this, and they all seem to agree: when you are the primary caregiver, you have your groove with the kids, and it is disruptive to have someone else taking charge. It's not so much a case of preferring your way of doing things to your partner's (although that may be a factor)--it's more a sense that when BOTH of you are trying to help the kids get ready to go somewhere, it will be more chaotic than if just ONE of you was in charge.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not romanticizing single parenthood. My husband travels for business, and when he's gone I count every second until he returns. But sometimes, it's just easier to have ONE set of rules and ONE schedule and ONE person giving directions.

What about you--is it easier to just do it yourself, or do things go more smoothly when your spouse or partner is there to share the work?

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Filed under: Gear, Lifestyle, Media, Toddler, Pre-teen, Teenager, Television, Kidwear

The Teletubbies are ten years old and celebrating with a makeover. Already popular with pre-schoolers, the Teletubbies are now hoping to capture the attention of tweens and young teens, who appreciate - and pay good money for - retro-inspired kitsch.

Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa Laa and Po were in New York this week, where Mayor Bloomberg officially proclaimed Wednesday to be Teletubbies Day. The Teletubbies visited famous New York landmarks and a temporary shop was set up to sell casual wear featuring the little creatures.

In addition to the New York fanfare, Ragdoll, the company that created the Teletubbies, has teamed with designer Isaac Mizrahi to launch a Teletubbies handbag collection to be auctioned online to benefit autism charities. I wonder what Jerry Falwell will have to say about that. (In 1999, Jerry Falwell claimed one of the little colorful creatures was gay because he was a boy and carried a purse.)

Stacey Reiner, director of licensing and new-product development for Ragdoll, says that while the Teletubbies continue to be cute and adorable, they are trying to have some fun with them in a way they haven't in the past. They are embracing the humor and marketing to older kids with a new "teleterrific" image.

A lot of parents, myself included, never felt the love for these day-glo, baby-talking creatures. Fortunately for me, Ellie never cared for them either. When I asked her this morning what she thought about them, she proclaimed them to be "cute, but babyish." My thoughts exactly.

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Filed under: Television, Internet, Music

Sometimes, it is easy to feel like you never have anything in common with the other parents on the playground. Many people I have tried to befriend have ultimately left me scratching my head, wondering how it is so freaking impossible to make friends that happen to be parents.

I've recently become a fan of watching music videos on Noggin.com with my young daughter. I'll give the people at Noggin credit; they're really good at scouting acts for their spots. (Note to Noggin: Could you please hire me? Sounds like a pretty fun job.)

I currently am enjoying I Hog the Ground by Steve Burns and Steven Drozd. If one of those names sounds familiar, it should. Steve Burns is the Steve of "Blue's Clues" fame. But now, instead of wearing his trademark striped shirt, he's wearing an awesome shirt that says "I Heart Ground."

Now, I find myself using it as my little parent catchphrase. I made some art while at the kids museum today that said, what else, "I Heart Ground," hoping that some other fun parent came along and had a chuckle.

I'd eventually like to make a shirt just like Steve's. But, if I never get around to doing so, I can always buy one on Cafe Press.

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Filed under: Image of the Day

Because I believe that there's nothing more beautiful, more innocent and more disarming than a child's smile whether they are gummy, missing tooth, exuberant or shy, March is "smile" month here at Blogging Baby. I fell in love with this photo the second I saw it. I don't know about your children, but mine have started to "smile" a month after they were born. This beautiful photo and moment have been captured by taishuanster.

If you'd like your own picture featured here, simply upload photos into our group Flickr Pool - We'll select an image every day to highlight. Remember: I'm on the lookout for shots with interesting backgrounds, cool angles, or original composition. Be sure to read the intro on the main Flickr page for more information and limit your uploading to 5 photos per day

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