Filed under: Lifestyle, 6-7 years, Birthdays

Ellie's good friend Ann is going to celebrate her sixth birthday in a few weeks. Ann's mother would like to have a small party at her home but but is feeling a bit stressed about the whole thing. The party itself isn't an issue, but who invite to the party is.

Ann has several friends in the neighborhood who she plays with regularly and inviting these girls is a no-brainer. Then there's the little girl who lives in the house behind them. They rarely play together, but because she lives within sight of the party, my friend feels she should invite her. In fact, there are several children within sight of the party who Ann knows, but doesn't play with on a regular basis. Should they be invited as well?

Inviting the little boy Ann has known since birth makes sense. But what about that little boy's two siblings? And we can't forget about the school friends. Ann has several good friends at school who she would like to invite. She also has family living close by and they will want to attend the celebration as well. Her extended family includes children ranging in age from infant to preteen.

The list goes on and on. Last year, Ann's mother avoided the issue by inviting just a few friends to Build A Bear. This year, she really wanted to give her girl a party, but the small celebration she envisioned is threatening to become a large, expensive bash. Some of the pressure Ann's mom is feeling is coming from the parents of these children, who assume their kid will be invited and have already mentioned what gift they will bring. Speaking of gifts, that's another problem. Ann doesn't need, and her mother doesn't want, all the gifts associated with a large guest list.

I don't know the solution, but I'll bet you do! Where does a parent draw the line when inviting guests to a birthday party?

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Filed under: Lifestyle, Media

As Kristin just reported, the Phelps family consider themselves the most hated family in the U.S.

After reading her post, I can see why. They picket the funerals of soldiers. As if this act isn't hateful enough, their pickets carry messages to let the grieving parties know that their sons and daughters have died because God hates America for tolerating homosexuality.

Are you kidding me?

Hey Phelps family, if that were true, I think we'd be seeing, oh, I don't know, a lot more dead Canadians, Dutch, Belgians and Spaniards. After all, we allow gay marriage! *GASP* The horror!

Guess what? The institutions of family and marriage have not deteriorated since we allowed gays to marry in Canada. In fact, most Canadians could hardly tell the difference. Canada's a pretty happy place to live. And how could the tolerance of gays and lesbians possibly be the reason so many men and women are dying in Iraq? Iraq doesn't tolerate gays (in fact last I checked, gayness was punishable by death) and multitudes of Iraqis are dying in this horrible war everyday.

It irks me when people twist the Bible, the Qur'an or other religious doctrine, in order to persecute those who are different than "the norm." It's instances like this that make me question my faith, when acts committed in the name of God or Allah show us the extremes of human intolerance, hatred and evil.

I think that Depeche Mode said it best back in the 80s: People are people so why should it be, you and I should get along so awfully. We need to stop teaching hatred and start teaching love people!

Can the anti-gays out there enlighten me? What is so frightening and awful about someone being homosexual? I have heard the "it's disgusting" argument, but other than the semantics of what takes place in the bedroom, what's wrong with two people loving each other? How will it really affect your life and family at the end of the day? Think about it.

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Filed under: Lifestyle, Media

I'd never heard of the Phelps family before, and perhaps for good reason. According to a recent BBC article on the "Most Hated Family in America", the American media tries not to give the family press.

The Phelps family is a deeply religious family who uses events such as American soldier's funerals as platforms for communication of their beliefs: that a soldier's death is "God's revenge on the US for tolerating homosexuality." Obviously, their actions have caused extreme anger among patriotic Americans (and just decent people, I would think - because the thought of picketing at any funeral makes me feel sick, too.)

The BBC has a recap of British television presenter Louis Theroux' extended interview with the notorious Phelps family. While calling them the most "extreme people he has ever met", he also says they are normal, high-achieving, and even kind, when they are not on the pickets.

Theroux blames the family patriarch for the apparently baffling behavior of a seemingly "normal" family - saying he was not a very nice man. It's an interesting look at a very unique family with some puzzling perspectives. I'm going to try to catch the BBC documentary.

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Filed under: Making a Difference

I was catching up on some blog reading tonight, while also catching up on some TV, (How's that for multi-tasking?) when I came across the story of Ryan Hreljac and Jimmy Akana. They happen to be the co-authors of a new kids' book, Ryan and Jimmy: And the well in Africa that brought them together.

You see when Ryan was a typical Canadian six-year-old, he learned tabout the lack of clean water in many African villages. So he set out on a quest to raise money to buy a well. At age SIX! When he found out that his initial fundraising of $70 would only buy a hand pump, he got his whole community involved to raise the $2K it would take to buy a proper ground well.

To abbreviate a very long story (you can read the whole thing here) Ryan began a penpal relationship with a 9-year-old Ugandan boy in the village where his well eventually went. Kristin recently posted about the Acholi children in Northern Uganda and the horrific struggles of these children. The penpal, Jimmy Akana, was no different. Each night he walked for miles to shelter himself from the possibility of being killed by rebels. Some nights he hid in the forest near his house for hours. He had lost both his parents, his siblings had disappeared and he was now living with relatives.

Ryan went to visit Jimmy and the well in 2000. Shortly after the life-changing visit, Jimmy's life was in danger again. At age 12, Jimmy's relatives were killed or disappeared after a middle-of-the-night attack by rebels that saw his village burnt to the ground. Jimmy had managed to escape, and since the rebels viewed the harbouring escapees was seen as treason punishable by death, no one would take him in. By 2003, the rebels were hunting Jimmy, eager to assassinate him, when a miracle happened.

Ryan's parents took out a loan and sought the advice of an immigration lawyer. Then they got Jimmy out of Uganda and safely into Canada, where he now attends high school, living as their adopted son. Wow.

Now the two boys travel together, trying to raise awareness about the importance of good drinking water and fundraising for Ryan's charity, the Ryan's Well Foundation. What touched me most about the interview I saw on my public TV station, was how incredibly positive Jimmy is, even after witnessing the death of his father and cousins, even when describing the horrible events of his life -- he has a smile that will melt your heart.

Next time your kids complain about something, tell them about these two inspiring guys.

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Filed under: Child Development, Gear, Toddler, Adventures in Parenting, Likes and dislikes

My Auntie Barb has provided Nolan with half of his wardrobe -- perhaps three quarters is more accurate. She lives in Houston, and sends him all kinds of teeny overalls and smart zip-up sweaters that we can't buy up here in the tundra. He has a little Sesame Street jean jacket from her that is so cute I want to hang it on a wall in his room.

Auntie Barb's most recent shipment included an Elmo football jacket, a jean shirt, a brown-and-orange striped sweater, two plaid shirts and an awesome little burgundy-piped white sweater vest. I dressed Nolan this morning in his zipped pocket jeans and a new red plaid shirt, and then, with glee, went to don the sweater vest.

Nolan shook his head "no" as I attempted to put his pudgy arm through the vest.
"No?" I asked.
"Nonono," he concurred, shaking his head again for emphasis.
"You don't like the vest?"
"No!"
"Oh."

So I let him get away with it for awhile, perhaps he was crotchety because he wanted outside, perhaps he was formulating a plan for world peace, who the hell knows what goes on in a toddler's brain? But I tried to sneak it on him a couple hours later before we went to the park and he shook his head no again. If I didn't know better, I'd think he doesn't like the vest. But twenty-month olds can't exhibit clothing preferences yet, can they?

I guess my days of dressing him in ridiculous hats are over.

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Filed under: Image of the Day

Because I believe that there's nothing more beautiful, more innocent and more disarming than a child's smile whether they are gummy, missing tooth, exuberant or shy, March is "smile" month here at Blogging Baby. For the last day I chose this adorable smile from my BABY its half. I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed looking at your photos this month. Thank you always for your great contributions.

If you'd like your own picture featured here, simply upload photos into our group Flickr Pool - We'll select an image every day to highlight. Remember: I'm on the lookout for shots with interesting backgrounds, cool angles, or original composition. Be sure to read the intro on the main Flickr page for more information and limit your uploading to 5 photos per day

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Filed under: High school

High school newspapers aren't exactly known for their groundbreaking journalism -- largely due to the fact that administrators are allowed to sensor their content. Nevertheless, the students at Winnacunnet High School in New Hampshire managed to publish a "sex" edition of their paper, the Winnachronicle.

Parents are upset about the photos of women kissing, quizzes about anal sex, and racy interviews -- including one in which the janitor claims to have found a vibrator in the girls' shower -- but frankly, I don't care. We all know that's what the kids are thinking about -- all the time -- so why not write about it in the newspaper?

While the principal was upset by the edition, and said he dealt with the matter privately, I think this is an administration with the right idea. Not only does the paper go to press without administrator approval (for now), the students' faculty adviser went so far as to say: "the Winnachronicle is also not a P.R. piece for the high school. This is a place for students to express their view and talk about issues that are troubling the student body."

Unfortunately, some members of the school board have lashed out against the students, calling the sex edition "vile," and "pornography," and are taking steps that may stop future editors from covering controversial topics in the future.

But I wonder -- did the naysayers even read it? Or did they see the lesbian photo and burn the thing before it could infect the rest of the household? The editorial that ran at the front of the paper read as follows: "These stories have been edited and re-edited for content and delivery, keeping in mind that the job here is to inform, not shock. It's about sex. Deal with it."

Seems pretty level-headed to me.

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Filed under: Parent rants

On Thursday, I wrote about a note I received from my son's school inviting us to join our children for the Stations of the Cross, and reminding us not to take pictures during the service. I said that I was a little surprised that parents would need to be reminded not to shoot photos during a religious service.

Yesterday, I went to church; the service was really nice, and very appropriate for small kids. In order to help the younger kids understand the story, a group of first graders acted out the various stations (each "station" tells one part of the narrative and offers a meditation on that part of the story). Other first graders took turns reading the descriptions and prayers. I was impressed by what a terrific job the kids did.

BUT! Imagine my surprise when parents started snapping pictures during the Stations of the Cross! At least one parent was using the "red eye" function on her camera (which adds two extra flashes), while another had a camera that beeped every time she took a picture. A dad in front of me was leaning over a group of kids to shoot video. It was noisy and distracting and frankly, it made me mad.

The note from the school was polite and specific: no photographs. These parents decided that this did not apply to them, that it was fine for them to take pictures. I wasn't aggravated because these people were taking pictures in a church; I've been to weddings and christenings where photographs have been taken without disrupting the ceremony. At Christmas, Charlie's class sang carols in the church and we all took pictures. But we were told that photography was fine for that occasion; on this occasion, we were specifically asked not to use our cameras.

The thing is this: when parents ignore the laws of polite society, they teach their children that they don't need to follow the rules either. To decide that the no photographs during the religious service request doesn't apply to you shows your child that other requests--no yelling in the library, no running in in the coffee shop, no cell phones in class--don't apply to him. I'm not one to advocate blindly following every rule, but I think that we have lost our sense of civility and politeness, and it makes it hard for us to expect our children to be civil and polite.

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Filed under: Infant / First year, Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding seems to be an endlessly controversial topic these days. Many experts champion the health benefits associated with breastfeeding, while women who chose to bottle feed report feeling shamed, or ostracized because of their decision. And if you want to be really controversial, just try breastfeeding in public -- chances are you'll spark a national debate.

However, if you're a mom who's HIV positive, a recent study suggests that the incentive for breastfeeding your baby is enormous. Namely, that by doing so, you reduce the chances that they'll be infected with the disease.

The study, conducted by two professors from the University of Kwa-Zulu Natal in South Africa, suggests that babies of HIV-positive mothers who are exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of life are less than half as likely to contract the disease than those who had formula milk in addition to breast milk -- and their odds were extremely better than those babies who'd been given solid foods.

Doctors speculate that the breastfed babies developed stronger lining in their intestines, and were thus better able to defend themselves against the disease.

While I wouldn't tell anyone woman how to care for her baby, I'm increasingly amazed at the reported benefits linked to breastfeeding. Do you chose to breastfeed your child -- why or why not?

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Filed under: Sleepover

As I mentioned earlier this week, I was in New York City last week for the BlogHer Business Conference. I had mixed emotions: guilt for leaving my toddler, determination to focus on my job, and secret elation at the prospect of visiting a new, exciting city.

It was a really fabulous conference. The sessions were engaging and thought-provoking and the women I met were whip-smart and keen. I couldn't stop drooling over Kristen's 5-week-old baby. She wore him in her sling for the entire conference and remained totally unflappable. Kristen was only one of several Mom bloggers I met at the conference who I hadn't read before. As it happens, I was missing out.

Kristen is a Mom, a writer, a maternity-tee creator, a lawyer (an ex-one, from what I can gather) and an all-around inspiration. Her most recent post focuses on some mind-bendingly frustrating laptop technical woes - and haven't we all had those? Mine turns off every half hour or so because of a faulty fan. Mommy Needs a Cocktail is definitely on my new list of reads and Kristen is just as adorable as her baby.

Jen Lemen is Kristen's sister. I started talking to her in the lobby of the hotel, as we waited for the volunteers to arrive, and there is something kind of magical about her. She has deep, beautiful eyes and, if this doesn't sound too wacky, an almost palpable kindred spirit. She gave me a homemade zine and a special card about the pursuit of dreams and I nearly cried because she touched my heart. For real. And I am loving her blog, and especially the fact that she and her family are in South Africa right now. Thank Pete for vicarious living through blogs.

Laura also really made an impact on me. I didn't have much of a chance to speak with her, but her insanely stylish shoes and obvious sense of humour made me want to check out her blog when I got home and I am so glad I did. This Mom has some talent, both for words and photography. Her recent post on the magic of New York is so true and so beautifully written that I wanted to teleport myself back there for the weekend. This time, though, I'd bring Nolan.

Happy weekend everyone.

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