Filed under: Nolan, Adventures in Parenting

I'm not a very physically demonstrative person. I'm not a hand-holder, or a hugger, or prone to physical displays of affection in any capacity other than squeezing my son hello at the end of a long work day. I think it's due in equal parts to leftover angst about my physical stature (hugs have always felt...uncomfy) and general bumbling social awkwardness, but I can't remember the last time I wrapped my arms around anyone but Nolan.

And I guess I shouldn't be surprised anymore than Nolan is not necessarily like me in his predispositions and affections, but I was still surprised to pick him up at daycare last week and find out he'd been smooching Elise throughout the day. Else is a fetching three-year-old, with huge brown doe-eyes and long curly brown hair, apparently she and Nolan hold hands and kiss with great relish throughout the day. She is his girlfriend, I have been informed.

Yesterday I hung out for a few minutes at daycare, absorbing the comfort of a happy day home, of the quiet space at the end of the day. Cradling Nolan in my lap, I asked him. "Can you show me your girlfriend, Nolan?"

Immediately he leapt up and ran over to Elise, taking her by the arm as if to display her.

"Nice! She is very cute," I nodded, and watched as he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed so hard I thought they'd both fall over. She reciprocated, knowingly, and tears took me by surprise and filled my eyes as I watched Nolan cover her cheek in drooly affection and her passionate response. There was something so innocently beautiful about their instinctive affection.

No one was wondering whether the hug felt awkward to the other person. Neither was wondering pensively if the other minded their breath/drool/height limitations.

There is something to be said for the beauty of the power of the human capability to love, inhibited, in childhood. I was inspired to see it. I want to use it as a reminder to not be inhibited, embarrassed, awkward about my affection. I'm so grateful to Nolan and his funny way of giving me a life lesson when I need it the most.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 31st, 2007 at 4:07 am and is filed under Parenting. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.