The parenting patent files: Centrifugal birthing apparatus
Filed under: Pregnancy and Birth, Tech Tuesdays, Third trimester, High-risk pregnancy, Going into labor, Birth complications, Home birth, Hospitals
I was a patent lawyer for a couple years. During that time I saw some pretty wild patents, but nothing like some of the patents I've seen relating to parenting gear and parenting products. I'm going to bring back Blogging Baby "Tech Tuesdays" and share some of these crazy patents.The first patent is Patent No. 3,216,423 (1965) patent for a Centrifugal birthing apparatus. According to its own text, this patented device "utilizes centrifugal force to facilitate the birth of a child at less stress to the mother. It is known, that due to natural anatomical conditions, the fetus needs the application of considerable propelling force to enable it to push aside the constricting vaginal walls, to overcome the friction of the uteral and vaginal surfaces and to counteract the atmospheric pressure opposing the emergence of the child. In the case of a woman who has a fully developed muscular system and has had ample physical exertion all through the pregnancy, as is common with all more primitive peoples, nature provides all the necessary equipment and power to have a normal and quick delivery. This is not the case, however, with more civilized women who often do not have the opportunity to develop the muscles needed in confinement. It is the primary purpose of the present invention to provide an apparatus which will assist the under-equipped woman by creating a gentle, evenly distributed, properly directed, precision-controlled force, that acts in unison with and supplements her own efforts."
If that doesn't sound crazy enough, be sure to check out the pictures. They're like Leonardo Da Vinci meets Terry Gilliam. It's too bad this technology never caught on, because that would be a pretty sweet birth to videotape.Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments